There’s Always Enough

There’s always enough.

The alarm is going off at 5:30 a.m.  I am quietly trying to wriggle free from my sheets, slip out of the room before my 15-month old roommate hears my rustling and wakes.  I sleepily pad into the kitchen and prepare my coffee.  Steam rises from my mug and I am trying to wake my body, my soul so that I can hear life and promises to carry me through my day.  Thirty minutes in, I hear my little one stirring.  His growls begin as his eyes adjust and he sees the picture of the lion above his bed.  I lay my head back on the sofa, clutch my mug tightly, and sigh.  Thirty minutes does not seem like enough time of communion to last through the day…

There’s always enough.

The day unfolds with deadlines, reports to be written, people to be seen, tested, counseled.  Eight hours of thinking of harm reduction techniques, HIV services improvement and community outreach.  By 4:30, I’m racing out the door, power walking the two miles to pick up my son so that I get in my 30 minutes of cardio.

The evening brings tickling, laughing, chasing, dinner, bathtime.  My other roommate comes home.  My 82-year-old neighbor comes down.  I pull up chairs in the hallway outside the bathroom.  The three of us talk while my son splashes exuberantly in the tub.  We drink wine and eat cheese, crackers and hummus.

There’s always enough.

After my little one has been brushed, cleaned, and cuddled, he gives his kisses and goes to bed.  The three of us make dinner and catch up; listening to humdrum stories from the day…an irritated boss, a strange call, a husband at the nursing home who still cannot communicate with words, but always perks up when the young, pretty nurse comes in.  Soon, leftovers are packed and sent upstairs with my neighbor.

There’s always enough.

After the kitchen is cleaned and the toys are picked up, I look at the clock and see that it is 8:00 p.m.  I marvel that 15 hours have gone by since I last had a moment to stop and be still.

I’m reminded of when Jesus heard that his cousin, John the Baptist, was murdered.  Jesus was trying to get away to a lonely place to rest and to grieve, but the crowds kept following, begging, demanding, needing.  And his friends said, “They are hungry.  Send them away so they can find food.”  And Jesus replied, “You give them something to eat.”  And they answered, “We do not have enough to feed them.”  And Jesus showed them that they did indeed have enough.  He took what they had, multiplied it, and after everyone in the crowd (around 5,000 men) had eaten, there remained 12 baskets full of food.

How often do I feel that way?  Someone is tugging on my hem, another is knocking at my door, and my spirit grumbles, “Send them away.  I do not have enough to feed them.  Let me rest.”  And He says, “Take what you have and feed them.”

And when I do, there remains.

There is always enough.

Photo by Brooke Huskey

Advertisement